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Okay, so clearly we have a problem and something needs to be done. I’ve had countless requests to have mr. pc man and liza’s twin removed from the site, I’ve had people leave, I’ve had people threaten to leave, etc.

I have no idea what to do, the situation is so retarded that it’s not worth discussing but we have to discuss it.

It is my opinion that you don’t ban people from sites with less than twenty active members and it is my experience that you can’t stop someone from being annoying. Not being annoying is not something that can be learned.

I’ve figured out the root of the problem, I’ll break it down for you:

1) Bertrandom has no clear purpose.
2) There are no categories for topics.

See how either of these would solve the problem? If Bertrandom had a purpose and something was doing something contrary to that purpose, then we could say, okay, stop doing that. Or if we had categories, we could just have a “politics” category and no one would go in there.

If you’ve been here for a while, you’ll remember that the new user screen used to have the “good guy” clause:

Bertrandom has only one rule: be a good guy (or girl if that’s the case).

I forgot to include it when I recoded the site, but I’m stating it now and will put it back in that screen when I get the chance. Now you know, that’s the rule.

Note that this is not the Golden Rule. This is not “do unto others as you would want them to do unto you”. You may think there is no distinction, there IS a distinction, this is the socially accepted meaning of “good guy”, not your personal opinion of what a good guy is. If we went by personal opinion, everybody would think they’re a good guy, when clearly there are a lot of people that aren’t.

Here’s a good rule of thumb, if you have to ask whether or not you should be doing something, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.

I’m not going to make specific rules, I shouldn’t need to. I can give you some ideas though. Some general observations:

I write anecdotes, short stories, columns, articles, rants, and lately plays when I get the chance and post them here. Absolutely none of those are politically charged, topical, or motivated.

Other people on this site have also written anecdotes, poetry, essays. The majority of these are not political either.

If you want a demographic, I can say with almost absolute certainty that nobody here voted for Bush in the last two elections nor support him. Thus, any anti-Bush propaganda is like preaching to the converted.

If you were to have dinner with a few of my friends on here and someone started bitching about Bush/war, we would all probably mock you in our heads. If I had a couple drinks in me, I would probably do it out loud. If you were to continually bitch about Bush/war, I would stop hanging out with you. I try to avoid all political discussions if at all possible, because they annoy me and I don’t believe they actually accomplish anything other than annoying me.

Religion-wise, if you haven’t figured this out, I’m an atheist. I’m not one of those annoying atheists, but conversely, I’m not going to be one of those people that tells you that I’m agnostic to make you feel more comfortable. I would say the majority of the people on here religion-wise, are non-practicing or have “lost the faith”, but of course there are a couple exceptions. And while you may think this is somewhat an ideal group to preach to then, you’re not going to convince anybody.

Perhaps what I’m trying to say here is that Bertrandom is not a place to convince anybody of anything, if that’s your motivation for writing something.

I think people write things for one of two reasons, to inform or to entertain. This site is much, much more about the latter category.

Occasionally, we will post links to things that we think are funny. But here’s a thought, if you continually post things that the majority of the people on here think are not funny, perhaps you should stop posting them.

Bertrandom is a community and you have to think when you’re about to post something, am I contributing to that community, or am I just pissing that community off?

I don’t want to ban anybody, so don’t make me do it. Don’t make me make rules because I don’t want there to be rules, just be a good guy and everything will work out. Thanks.

- bertrand (november 4, 2005 at 2:00 pm)
 
 

And very well put. As far as politics and religion are concerned, I think I've pretty much said all I have to say, so that won't be a problem at all, from this end. As far as attacks on my character or other people, Liza for instance, that is not "being a good guy." That is obvious. And we will both, more than likely, defend ourselves to the bitter end. You're right, there are no rules here, and being a good guy, isn't a problem on this end, because I AM. Thanks.

- mr. pc man (november 4, 2005 at 8:44 pm)
 
 

To say that I am disappointed is an understatement. All I tried to do was inform, discuss and hear other valid opinions. I THOUGHT that was what sites like this was for. I know that not everyone shares the same feelings and opinions as I do, and was hoping to hear from those and have intelligent discussions, and possibly make some friends along the way. Well, one friend was made, but lets see, what else did I get from this site. First of all, bertrand, you need to go back to the original postings that we first started and read through them and realize who threw the first stone, so to speak. I have been called stupid, I have been called a bitch and a cunt, my mother has been disrespected, I have had racial epitaphs thrown at me, belittled, and the butt of many jokes. And I am the one they want banned from here. And I am being lectured to be a "good guy (or girl)" as you put it. With all due respect, and as developer of this website, you are due that respect, you are preaching to the wrong choir. When my character comes under attack, I will fire back, I do not back away from the "school yard bullies". I started nodes, to have a serious discussion, and was sought out, and ridiculed. I have visited quite a few nodes on here, and not liking some of the postings, have just plain stayed away from them. All I have ever asked for is the same type of respect. By all means, your other regulars have the right to post whatever they want, without fear of ridicule and degrading, but shouldn't I also be afforded the same respect? I truly am not one of the "bad guys" here bert, and am really disappointed that I am being painted as one, and being blamed for those that have left, and those that are threatening to leave, and that you would actually stick up for those that fired the first shot!

- liza's twin (november 5, 2005 at 12:11 am)
 
 

I don't think Bert is necessarily, "sticking up" for them. He's merely making a point that has been made before, only he has done it, I believe, in more of a sensible fashion. Coming from the owner of the website, I see no problems with that. It's just too bad that you and I won't be able to continue posting our political and religious content, without knowing that because that wasn't what was done before, that it isn't what is preferred now by most people who come here and actually have some balls to contribute, even if it is in somewhat of a defamatory nature of sorts. I will guarantee one thing though, other than my trying my darndest to stay away from political and religious issues from here on out. When my, or my friends characters are assaulted, there will be NO END to how badly I will fight you, and I WILL WIN, as I always have.

But that isn't the point either here. The fact of the matter is, hans and all his cronies all feel as though they have won this game, while I, Liza and all of my 20 or so friends who have read a lot of this, KNOW that we have won. So in that, it's simply not a matter of who has won or who has lost anymore. The major issue here is that it's over, unless of course there are those who'd like to continue what they have started. In fact, there really is only one thing I disagree with bert on, and that's his persistence on avoiding the one rule that everyone SHOULD follow if they have any kind of common sense whatsoever. It's been mentioned so many times, there's no need to mention it again. And if you don't understand it, athiest or not, you have a serious problem. And no, that was not directed specifically to bert, whom I'm sure is merely pretending not to understand to keep all the dimbulbs that come on here so frequently, happy.

Regarding the things I have posted in the past, there are some things I'd like to admit to. I admit to caring about this world, and trying to gain input from some of the people that are in it. I admit not all people agree with me on many issues, whether or not most of my opinions are based on facts. I admit, most people on this website who actually participate in said discussions, do not appear to enjoy talking about political issues or religious issues, whether I feel something in what I have said is funny, or not. Lastly, I admit, that when someone insults my intelligence, that chances are, the better I am at insulting them back than they were at insulting me, the more likely all it is going to do is piss them and their friends off even further than they were already pissed off at me.

Now, hopefully we can move on to some more positive discussions that are humorous, not necessarily motivated, and free from insults to one another. However, from the "informatory" angle as well as the "entertainment" angle, which is now the rule here, if you don't feel informed by what I post, or entertained by what I post, from here on out, don't insult me, without expecting to be insulted back, more thoroughly I might add. ;-)

- mr. pc man (november 5, 2005 at 12:55 am)
 
 

i've never found anything you've posted entertaining, enjoyable, or in any way something i'd willingly subject myself to reading. this goes to both pcman and liza. I respect berts request here to 'stop the drama' because it is getting old, but i seriously half no belief at all that pcman and liza are going to suddenly up and change the entire way they are just to hang out here so i think it's rather pointless to tell them everything they do is annoying to the users on this site.

in all seriousness pcman, you and liza just aren't the type of people on this site. as much as you sit here and claim your 'winning' or 'have people on your side' you really don't. your both the outcasts in a larger group of maybe 10-12 people. i'm really not sure why you both stay here as if i were you, i'd of gotten the hint a long while back that the only friend i had here was liza. thus, i'd probably of gotten her contact info and moved to another forum, website, or some place where you could share your spam mail, politcial propaganda, and public outcrys with a more willing forum.

i'm pretty bored of bashing you, and as much as you think my insults were "weak" "retarded" and made me seem mentally challanged, that more so what this site is to me. this is a place where i can come post a story about how i worked at fedex, decided i hated my job, got promoted to management for slacking off, then the minute i actually do a really good job and start using my management powers for good and not just abusing them, i was fired. that's a funny, original, and creative story that was real and as many people replied, fairly entertaining to read. try going through the list of nodes and just randomly pick a few, see what you find. you might be surprised that this site really is about poop, fart, and retarded jokes.

if you really both want to stay here and have us actually accept you, you need to realize acting smart here, just makes you the butt of the jokes. were all smart here. i highly doubt anyone on this site has an IQ below a 145, and were all pretty successful at our jobs and lifes, so when you sit here and think your the wise one on the site, your missing the whole point since you've yet to really actually learn anything about any of us.

This is why when we first started getting annoied by you, i suggest becoming a lurker. The idea of that is you come to the site every so often, read a few of the nodes, and thats it. don't post, don't start your own opinion storys, just read them and learn who the people here are and what we are like.

Now i realize you might take this all as some huge insult and make a wink at me as usual and be like "omg i totally showed him w00t" and that's fine, i'll go right back to making funny remarks about you. but if you read this and seriously take in what i said, you might just understand why it's so hard for any of us to really accept you.

give it a week, read some old nodes, listen to the random shit we say, then try posting your own new bullshit node about smurfs or something. you'll be a superstar in no time.

And that's my final 2cents on attempting to convert the jews to muslums...

- hans (november 5, 2005 at 1:43 am)
 
 

Thank you hans. I was beginning to wonder if there was a "bone" of humanity in you whatsoever. I see you have partially proven me wrong, and I will gladly admit it. I admit all I know about you is what you have written, thus far, on this website, and nothing more. I'm hoping this can be a truce, but won't be apologising for anything I said in my defense against you thus far, and I'm sure with an IQ of over 145 you should have no problem understanding why that is.

Truthfully, I have browsed quite a few of the nodes on this place. Some of it's pretty funny schtuff, and some of it is pretty stupid, silly, meaningless, pointless, retarded, dribble and nothing more. Sometimes it's hard to find stuff on here that actually is funny, previously to anything that has been going on before I got here anyway, and no, I'm not patting myself on the back on that one, your contribution of your mailbox and such helped out a bit, I'll admit that. If people laughed at my expense, great, all power to them. If people laughed at what I had to say, even better. It's really hard for me to believe there are some people on here who didn't enjoy some of the southpark analogies and such, etc.

Point is, why fight at all? That's not very smart, on either side of whatever issue we may happen to be talking about. When two groups of people fight, there's going to be a winning side and a losing side at the end of every battle. When people work together, they all win. And if all people here want to do is talk about mindless dribble and such, that's fine too, that's there peragotive, man I hate quoting Bobby Brown, that guy is a skank. Just look at what he did to Whitney.

Anyways, I'm more than happy to oblige the owner of the website once again. NO religion, no politics, from this end. No problem! I'm not one who needs to give it a week though. I already understand what you have said to me, as you are not currently using computer language to say what you have to say to me. So, I'm taking it you actually READ my responses to bert then? Good! The thing about your conclusion that neither I nor liza are capable of changing the entire way that we are is that you know little or nothing about the way that either of us actually are, other than what we have told you thus far, mixed with our anger and hatred for having been belittled by you!

You should know where I stand by now, and I'm hoping that I AM understanding where you stand now. Prove ME RIGHT!

- mr. pc man (november 5, 2005 at 2:04 am)
 
 

bert's the kind of atheist that makes you prove that your god is better than jagermeister.

- einhander (november 5, 2005 at 4:33 am)
 
 

Are you referring to that Alcohol that tastes worse than black licorice? Gosh I hate that stuff. I can handle Golden Schloger,*sp?*(just playing penelope for a quick sec.) but after a while, even Golden schloger starts tasting the same, except of course for the flecks of gold in it. I wonder what gold does to someones digestive track anyway?

- mr. pc man (november 5, 2005 at 4:50 am)
 
 

yeah man. the liquor that tastes like cough medicine. can you prove god is better than that?

- einhander (november 5, 2005 at 7:34 am)
 
 

I'm determined to leave this hatchet buried also... just as reference this was my first response to mr. pc man-

First of all, government price caps, the primary method the government COULD help us with this price increase, is a notion for socialists and little children. Tapping the strategic oil reserve is inviting another real disaster to come along and run us dry... which I must admit from a fatalistic perspective I'd love to see Georgie have to try and handle right now.

Alternative energy will continue to be a noble and honorable (however impossible) consideration until the cost of oil becomes so prohibitive that they are finally cost-effective. This is the only method that these will ever reach the American energy market in a significant way. Major technological advances to lower the cost of green energy will take flight once those sources become implemented- it's unlikely to happen before that. Never mind that logically we should get out of the oil business before the supply runs out- economically I can't imagine that happening. What I'm truly afraid of is coal-to-oil conversion becoming prominent- we need to get out of the fossil fuel game altogether. But I doubt it will happen for another century or so. 'Cause of money.

Oh, and 6 Jew bankers control the world's money supply.

An intelligent response which was greeted with derision, something pc. man has said he will respond to in kind... as I did as the flames escalated in waves of retarded futility.

I've said it before and I'll repeat it here- this site was founded by Bert and was originally composed of people's love of irreverent and often absolutely vile humor... epithets were used as words and words only for their humor value. Graphic sexual and often vulgar content the same. The occasional play or bit of writing was often included, as was a kick-ass "Do" feature that became unmanageable very quickly. If I could code the New Member screen I would include a disclaimer stating that this site's purpose is to have no purpose other than humor and that anything read on here cannot be taken as true opinion or fact... any words posted on here are purely to get a laugh out of the writer (with the hopes of also getting a laugh or two out of other members). I will admit that I was trying to be as abhorrent a person as possible for a while in an attempt to get rid of certain elements on this site... I will cease this fight in favor of a final plea before I give up and become a lurker:

For God's sake (yes, as one of the few devout, albeit very liberal, Christians on this site), please take in everything on this site through glasses of humor. Appreciate it for what it is, and if you get offended, please remember that we'd probably all hang out in a bar just fine. Just don't make me play pool. I hate that shit.

- wallabysnot (november 5, 2005 at 7:57 am)
 
 

I too think that this thing as gotten way out of control, and there does need to be an ending.

I personally do not like how things progressed from bad to worse. And I am trying to think how to word this so NOBODY here takes offense. Because with this posting there is no offense intended.

I was the new kid in the school yard so to speak. There were no rules posted, and from what I could see nothing to state what could or could not be posted. But, please look at this from another point of view. New kid at school, not aware of how the other kids play. Do you try and explain to the new kid, look this is not how we do things here, constructively, so the new kid can try and fit in, or do you just go for the jugular, attack their character, degrade them, make that new person the "outsider"?

Now I am not saying this to fire things up, I really am not. But why couldn't you have just said right from the begining, this is not how we do things here. I would have conformed, I do know how to play nice with other people, but not when my character comes under attack, and not when derogatory remarks are made about me and my family. From my very first posting, constructively and intelligently as you did up above.

I see that from your postings you ARE intelligent people, but it is not our fault for believing otherwise. You are intelligent enough to know that all I was asking for was a little respect, that would have gone a very long way indeed. I have never presented myself for anything other than what I am, and only wish that you and your friends had been true to yourselves as well, and shown us how truly intelligent you were, we were not allowed to see you for who you really are.

So I too am willing to go along with the "good guy" clause. Give me a chance, I will give you a chance.



- liza's twin (november 5, 2005 at 11:35 am)
 
 

What the hell is this, some lifetime movie?

- the melv (november 5, 2005 at 12:45 pm)
 
 

When people are in an argument, Wallabysnot, they argue their point. Sorry if my arguement to your first, "rather intelligent" response I might add, was met with derision, even while there was some, "derision" in your "rather intelligent" response. IE- "the primary method the government COULD help us with this price increase, is a notion for socialists and little children." I'm sure you will agree the government needs to be doing a lot more than they are, and they could start out by not wasting our money and instead, using it a lot more wisely than they have been. I'm neither a "socialist" nor a "children." My apologies, to you, from that end. I'm not too fond of pool either, unless its a swimming pool filled with beautiful naked women.

- mr. pc man (november 5, 2005 at 4:42 pm)
 
 

I prefer snooker and Guinness. Pool is fine though. I've been working on my masse, but it's damn tough on shitty tables and I don't want to screw up my 1934 Brunswick snooker table trying to do it. Snooker is damn tough compared to pool though and most of my friends get frustrated when playing on my snooker table. You see, a snooker table is quite a bit larger than a pool table and has smaller balls and pockets, making it a bit more difficult to make shots. Yet, one does not really play 8-ball on a snooker table and it would very tough to play snooker on a pool table. Snooker is a more strategic game. It takes finesse and patience as games can run about an hour to two. The issue here is that some people came to play snooker on a pool table and found out that it's tough to do so. It's like asking for apple juice in a country that only offers orange juice and all those who have an appetite for apple juice are shunned. I'm rambling. I just like the way that the keys sound when I type on this laptop. Plus I'm bored. Last night I wrote a song about penile blisters. Not from my own experience though.

- double d (november 5, 2005 at 5:35 pm)
 
 

this node went from informative to gay in just about half the time it takes to die from pouring a tin of altoids into your mouth and taking a huge swig of pop..

- hans (november 6, 2005 at 10:43 am)
 
 

never tried that so I guess I wouldn't know just how "gay" that is? I think that emptying a bottle of birth control pills into your mouth and taking a huge swig of pop would be gayer though, anyone got anything gayer than that? Oh, whoops, I had to reread that a couple of times, I see. You said, half the time it takes to "die" not be gay. Ok, I get it now. Can you really die by swallowing a tin of altoids and taking a huge swig of pop, or is that just an analogy of some sort or another? I heard men that swallow birth control pills can have serious side affects in some movie, can't remember which ones...

- mr. pc man (november 6, 2005 at 11:07 am)
 
 

Bertrand, I never asked you to kick them off, all I said was that Chris had a really good idea of an on/off feature so you don't have to weed through crap that really takes quite a bit of effort to scroll through. course, i know how BUSY you are lately...

- flor de china (november 6, 2005 at 2:38 pm)
 
 

you'd have to ask bert about a tin of altoids and a swig of pop. he did it a few years back at a bank of america or something... great story... and i'm pretty sure officer murphy works here. i actually have a ticket signed by an "officer murphy" some where...

i forget the name of that article so i could link to it's node.. anyone remember what i'm talking about? i think it might of been hell i'll see if that's right..

- hans (november 6, 2005 at 4:26 pm)
 
 

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 2:56 am)
 
 

"i forget the name of that article so i could link to it's node.. anyone remember what i'm talking about? i think it might of been hell i'll see if that's right.."

looks like hell froze over... Did you all know that there is actually a "hell" michigan? Not a joke, there really is a "hell" michigan. Never been there though I'm sure it gets just as cold...

Bert, how about an answer to that tin of altoids and swig of pop question????

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 2:57 am)
 
 

Here it is. I wrote this over 7 years ago so I'm a little afraid to re-read it. It's dated 08/06/98, which would make me a senior in high school.

Hell

"What do you want to do today, Bertrand?"
"Let's go to hell."
"You sure you don't want to see a movie?"
"The only movie I haven't seen is Saving Private Ryan, and you have to schedule your life around that. Hell is pretty instantaneous, you don't even have to drive there."

Well, it turns out I was wrong. You do have to drive there. I had never been there before, and I really wanted to see what it was like, but I couldn't convince any of my friends to come along. They all said, "I'm busy today, maybe next week." "I don't think I get frequent flyer miles for that." "Isn't it hot enough outside?" So I was forced to go by myself.
I was thinking to myself, there are two ways to visit Hell. One way would be to kill yourself, and the other would be to summon the Devil. The former sounded a lot easier, but I had to brainstorm on how to do it. I finally decided on overdosing on Altoids. They weren't as expensive as Tylenol, and I'd have fresh breath for the rest of my afterlife.
I checked my stash and discovered that I was all out. Great, another trip to Trader Joes. And the only Trader Joes I knew of was in La Canada, so I got in my car and headed for the 2. Next thing I know, somewhere around the Berkshire exit, I smell oranges. Then I saw it, the whole freeway was covered with oranges. Or tangerines, I couldn't tell. I got tangerines all over my tires, it was really annoying, now I had to tip the guy that washed my car. At this point I decided to take the Berkshire exit, and then discovered that the tangerine truck had taken the same route. It really wasn't my day. Now I had tangerine embedded tires. I swung a left and headed for Foothill.
The whole time I was thinking to myself, "They must have paved Foothill by now. For god's sakes, its been MONTHS." Nope, the city council had decided to donate another billion dollars to the schools. "I think what the elementary schools need are laptops for every student. All in favor, say Aye." "Eye." "I." "Aye." So after my car almost fell apart getting up the hill, I turned into the Trader Joes/Petco/Starbucks complex. I bought a nice large tin of Altoids that cost more than the annual GDP of a small Brazilian country and a bottle of overpriced Dynamo. If I was going to go, I was going to do it in style. Next I walked into Starbucks and bought the largest Mocha Frap I've ever had in my life. I drank about a fourth of it and threw it away, much too sweet.
I was really on a roll, now I had this incredible urge for a Coke. So I drove into the Ralphs/Bank of America complex and parked. I spotted one of those Tom Sawyer Camp vans, and I thought to myself, "What the hell do they do at Tom Sawyer Camp? Today, kids, we're going to Ralphs! Tomorrow - Bank of America!" "Yeah!" "Kick ass!" "I want a money marketing account!" I remember one summer my friend was trying to convince me to go to Tom Sawyer Camp. "Its going to awesome, Bertrand. They have archery and wrestling and lakes and all sorts of stuff!" "Do they have Coke?" "What?" "According to the brochure, you're like one mile away from a 7-11. That's like a week without Coke. No way, dude." But if Tom Sawyer camp makes stops at Ralphs now, then maybe I should sign up.
Anyway, I purchased a 2 liter bottle of Coke, which coincidentally costs the same amount of money as a 20 oz. bottle. Then I had to choose a location to overdose. It was actually a toss-up between Bank of America and the Post Office, but I chose Bank of America because it was air-conditioned although the post office would have been an easier transition. I selected a nice, comfortable chair in the middle of the room and counted the security cameras. Eleven, in total, two on the front door. I once read an article in the Valley Sun about a guy that robbed a bank in La Canada with a toy gun. The police arrested him at his house five minutes later. There are actually some pretty strict penalties for holding up a place with a toy gun, so if you're going to rob a bank, you might as well use a real gun. That way the SWAT team won't be laughing at you when you're trying to negotiate a helicopter. I opened my Altoids tin and poured about half of it into my mouth, and then took a swig of Coke. It was a very painful experience. And the worst part is, I didn't die. I couldn't believe it. Five minutes later a couple security guards that thought they were cops threw me out because I was frothing at the mouth. I was really pissed off by this point, I had spent $20 and an hour and a half and I still wasn't at hell. Plan B - Summoning the devil.
Summoning the devil isn't easy, you can't just do it anywhere. You have to do it at the crossroads. The only crossroads I know of are where the 2 and the 134 meet, so I parked my car on the side of the freeway and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally a cop car pulled up and the devil got out. Officer Murphy. I had always suspected, but I was never sure. Now I was positive.

"What's up?"
"So you'd like to sell your soul?"
"Not really. I just wanted to visit Hell. You know, like a little vacation."
"How long are you planning on staying?"
"What is this, Customs? A few hours, I just want to see the accommodations."
"That can be arranged."
"Now I was wondering, is this like a private hell, because I was thinking how I don't really like country music, and I figure that's what you guys would be playing. But some people like country music, like James Lee, so when he goes to hell, then what do you do? Isn't there a conflict there?"
"No, we provide headphones."
"I see. Sony?"
"Philips."
"I should have known."

Hell isn't really that bad. Its quite fun if you know what you're doing. For example, let's say you want a milkshake. You think to yourself, "I hate milkshakes. Milkshakes are the worst things ever. I really, really, really don't want a milkshake right now." Next thing you know some guy dressed in black is forcing you to drink a milkshake. The only problem is that the people running the place have a sick sense of humor. Turns out it was a Mc Flurry.
I met a lot of people I knew, too. My mechanic, most of my teachers, the entire McDonalds staff, even the guy that sold me my watch. And then there were the people that I didn't know personally, but I had heard of. The cast of Disturbing Behavior, the guy that mixed "AMC Movie Tunes", everyone who had ever spammed me, and the guy that started Texas Instruments. I also got to meet my namesake, Bertrand Russell, who's a really great guy. Steve Case, CEO of America Online, was buried under a lot of disks and was really pissed off about something so I didn't have a chance to shake his hand.
After a while I decided it was getting too hot, I was wearing slacks of all things. I told Officer Murphy that I'd see him again in about 60 years, and he just laughed and said, "More like 6 months", whatever the hell that means. I drove back to my house with Route 66, went to my room, turned on the air-conditioning full blast, and wrote this. I would highly recommend it to anybody if you've got nothing else to do. Its better than watching Disturbing Behavior.

Yet another letter to a company:

Bertrand Fan
1944 Starvale Rd.
Glendale, CA 91207

The Coca-Cola Company

To Whom It May Concern:

I am very disappointed with your choice of putting the Santa Claus logo on Coca-Cola cans throughout the month of December, 1997. My sole occupation consists of buying large cases of expired Coke and selling them for a dollar each outside concert halls and frequently visited landmarks of Southern California. Your company must realize that by putting the Santa Claus logo on your cans, you are decreasing my sales of Coca-Cola quite dramatically. One couple approached me to buy a can, and as I handed it to them they said, "What the hell? That's over 7 months old!" My entire profit for the day was only $10, and I have two children to feed!
Every day I come home and they yell at me. They say, "Can't we drink anything else?" or "I wish I was never adopted." The Santa Claus logo is tearing my family apart. The only place we go together as a family is Magic Mountain because of the coupons on the cans. Outside Magic Mountain is a great place to sell cans, because then the customer is getting a dual package, a coupon AND a cool, refreshing expired Coke. I would highly recommend it to any of your resellers in my position.
The next time your company is planning a design for a can, please consider people such as myself that depend on selling expired Coke as their main source of income. Thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Bertrand Fan

- bertrand (november 8, 2005 at 9:24 am)
 
 

Too bad you never considered your third option. Driving to Hell, Michigan? Gas was cheaper back then. When you were a senior in Highschool, I had already graduated from college. Senior year for highschool for me was '94. Yep, did it in 4 years, not five or six. 2 years at community college, 2 years at MSU, and I was out.

I like your view on the way things work in "hell," especially because I, like you, don't really believe one exists, after this life that is. According to you, you have nothing to worry or care about when you die. This short existence is it, so better make the best of it, right? For me, it's merely one stepping stone along an entire stairway on my journey, whereever my journey happens to take me. Or at least, that's how I feel, most of the time anyway.

There've been times in my life when I would have sworn on life itself that there'd had to be a God. Other times in my life, I'd have sworn on the very Universe that there can't possibly be a God. I finally realised that swearing usually gets you nowhere. It doesn't change things. It doesn't make anything any different from the way things actually are and/or will be. The bare bones of the matter, when it comes right down to it, is we just don't know. However, I've got a really strong feeling that we'll all know soon enough. Not with our minds, or even our hearts. Not in any materialistic fashion that has yet to be. True freedom, is how I see it. We all choose how we progress, for the most part. If Coke is your afrodisiac, then you may find yourself swimming in it. Who really, and truely, knows? I hope you don't mind this, I just feel it is fitting to this response to your "journey" to hell, which I did find somewhat humorous I might add:

Einstein on Prayer, Purpose in Nature, and the Soul
The following excerpts are taken from Albert Einstein - The Human Side,Selected and Edited by Helen Dukas and Banesh Hoffman, Princeton University Press, 1979.

Einstein on Prayer (pp. 32 - 33)
A child in the sixth grade in a Sunday School in New York City, with the encouragement of her teacher, wrote to Einstein in Princeton on 19 January I936 asking him whether scientists pray, and if so what they pray for. Einstein replied as follows on 24 January 1936:
I have tried to respond to your question as simply as I could. Here is my answer. Scientific research is based on the idea that everything that takes place is determined by laws of nature, and therefore this holds for the actions of people. For this reason, a research scientist will hardly be inclined to believe that events could be influenced by a prayer, i.e. by a wish addressed to a supernatural Being.

Einstein in the Bern Patent Office

However, it must be admitted that our actual knowledge of these laws is only imperfect and fragmentary, so that, actually, the belief in the existence of basic all-embracing laws in Nature also rests on a sort of faith. All the same this faith has been largely justified so far by the success of scientific research. But, on the other hand, every one who is seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the Universe-a spirit vastly superior to that of man, and one in the face of which we with our modest powers must feel humble. In this way the pursuit of science leads to a religious feeling of a special sort, which is indeed quite different from the religiosity of someone more naive.

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 10:14 am)
 
 

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 11:19 am)
 
 

I have heard some people say, that there is no hell after death, we are living in hell. For me to agree with that statement would go against everything I have been brought up to believe. So if we live in hell, what about the heaven I have heard about?

- lizas twin (november 8, 2005 at 11:20 am)
 
 

Yes, that is Ein...

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 11:20 am)
 
 

The people you've talked to may very well be living in their own personal hell. That's nothing more than a state of mind. Take the "golden" rule analogy for instance. The one about a big bowl of soup with people surrounding it using 12 foot spoons to feed each other with. The difference here, is that if you sit there bringing your spoon up to the people across from you to feed them, does that mean they are going to do the same for you? Not necessarily. On this planet, they may not even have a spoon for instance. So do you keep feeding them? Me? I would. I'd keep them strong enough so that they'd eventually be capable of making their own spoons, to feed me with, etc. Yeah, I'm rambling somewhat.

If you were to compare earth to any supernatural habitat it would really look more like purgatory. That is, a purgatory that for some people means a choice between either heaven or hell, and for some people means starvation. Sylvia Brown has some interesting points of view on the subject. She believes in reincarnation. She says that people choose the paths they will take through life, they even give themselves some exit points, if things aren't going as expected, etc.

No, in my opinion, the people who told you that we are all in hell right now, could not be more wrong. As for hell after life, it just doesn't make sense, following the philosphy of what is supposed to be a just, loving and forgiving God by all people whom believe that there is one. If someone commits murder for instance, whether it be an unkind or unjust act, sure, they'll pay for it, somehow. But burn in hell for eternity. Come on. That just doesn't make sense, no matter how you look at it. Not in my opinion anyway. Eternity is just too damn long, especially in a place where time doesn't even exist.

- mr. pc man (november 8, 2005 at 11:33 am)
 
 

this just goes back to my original comment of proving michigan is the crapcenter of america, we even have hell there...

- hans (november 9, 2005 at 4:19 am)
 
 

Well, I don't entirely disagree with you there. Thus the very reason I even attempted to move to Arizona, 1800 miles away from those I care about most. What went wrong might you ask? I was 1800 miles away from those I care about most. Detroit pretty much is the butthole factory of America, thus we have cars shitting here, shitting there, shitting everywhere you look. Saginaw is merely the armpit of michigan. And Flint, well, who really cares about Flint? Michael Moore.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 5:03 am)
 
 

ann arbors a whore....

- hans (november 9, 2005 at 8:56 am)
 
 

Hanted Places In Michigan
Last Updated: July 2005

(Don't worry, this isn't even half of them. Just cities I've been to and am somewhat familiar with in Michigan. They are in alphebetical order And I didn't paste any further than Detroit. And no, it hasn't been edited, that's supposed to be the job of the owner of the website I got these from.)

Alpena - old radio tavern - A few witnesses heard footsteps and saw heads in the windows before they were boarded up. next to the long lake chapel.

Ann Arbor - Huron High School theatre. - Story goes some time in the late 70s a student named Mary (last name never mentioned) who, while working on some lighting fixtures alone one day, fell from the catwalks head first and died upon the stage. Sightings include actors and stagehands seeing a girl up in the catwalks wearing a light pink dress. Also, in the prop room where all the senior thespians spray paint their names on the wall shortly after Mary's death her name appeared in bold red paint above the doorway about seventeen feet from the floor and upside down.

Ann Arbor - Mercywood Hospital - Mercywood was a mental hospital before closing down. security guards heard the elevators moving when the building was empty. Sounds would come from the boiler room. In the basement were personal belongings of the inmates. There was also a bowling alley and bumper pool tables in the basement. There were insane rambling written on the walls in some of the rooms. Behind the hospital there was a convent where the nuns lived that worked in the hospital and even to go in there was a very uneasy feeling. It is like you can feel the insanity that surrounded the place. Also an evil feeling. They have since torn down the old hospital but something has been built there recently. It is on Jackson Ave. in Ann Arbor a little way down from the cemetery next to I-94 on the right side if you are going west.

Battle Creek - Court Apartments (formally Webster Apartments) - Reports of strange occurrences happened only in the East side building, usually in apartments 1-4, and 8. Closet doors would open, even when closed securely and if the closet door was closed, you can sometimes hear the coat hangers (even if immobilized in some way)tap against each other, despite the total lack of breezes or heat updrafts. Other strange happenings included: Heavy footsteps and yelling in vacant upper apartments, the feeling of an unpleasant presence, cold spots (in only one upper apartment), the feeling of being "touched" or "groped", knocking on doors, dishes being broken and pans thrown (but still intact and unmoved when you check them) and flickering lights. The buildings are about 100 years old, but no one has made any connections of deaths or tragedies to these "hauntings".

Battle Creek - Penfield cemetery - when people drive by sometimes they see a white ball run across the into a marble headstone.

Battle Creek - Oak Hill Cemetery- At approximately midnight every Sunday night a statue of the Virgin Mary seems to weep this story is over 60 years old everybody in Battle Creek has heard of this story. They call her (CRYING MARY)

Bay City - Delta College - Reports of apparitions and footsteps heard in there and found nobody in the building.

Bay City - old water treatment plant - white objects seen entering plant, very creepy feeling, some people who have went inside have came out frightened

Birmingham - Adams house - House built in 1920. Originally inhabited by Margaret parks who owned Parks Cole Company in downtown Birmingham around the same period. Countless paranormal experiences in the home. For example: lights turning on and off by themselves, curtains opening as if someone where looking out{nobody being home that is). , cold spots , ghostly apparitions both male and female, items vanishing and reappearing ( items of small size ), a strand of bells ringing in early morning hours. This is only to name a few. Also witnessed by many people. Home at a later date became the Michigan metaphysical society.

Birmingham - Birmingham Theater- the exact history of the haunting is not known, but the Birmingham Theater has been around a long time.Possibly built beginning of the ninteen hundreds as theater used for plays. It was closed until the 1990's. At this time it was remodeled into a movie theater. A former employee that worked there in the summer of 2001 reports they had heard stories about the main theater being haunted, but disregarded them. One night after closing, they were in the main theater sweeping the leftover popcorn into piles on the floor. There were two distinct piles app. 10 feet apart. There was what sounded like a creaking and the ducts all of the sudden startes to circulate cold air. The two piles of popcorn shifted over on the floor 3 feet each, still remaining distinct piles. There is also a side door to a basement in the main theater. It is locked from the outside, no other way in. Yet at this time, light flickered on and off while the sounds of things falling could be heard.

Bloomfield - Trowbridge Road - A side street north of 16 mile on Woodward holds a very creepy place called Trowbridge. It is a very rich area an local kids that were depressed would jump off the bridge which was a 100 ft. drop to there death, one instance on a Sunday from 8p.m until 12 midnight every half hour on the hour a kid would commit suicide until midnight when the train came an dismembered there corpses. The kids would spray paint there names or something to be remembered by on the wall. It is on a street called Trowbridge, very creepy street with huge houses take it down half a mile an on the left hand side before the street ends is the bridge. Go at your own risk because the place has been known to have many freaky occurrences an not to mention a monks monastery about a mile down the road. - October 2003 Update: The Police DO issue trespassing tickets for $250.00 because the train bridge and tracks are federal property and by being on it you are trespassing on federal property. - February 2004 Update: Police patrol there quite frequently and the neighbor across the street won't hesitate to call them.

Bloomfield - Trowbridge Road - Sacred Heart Academy - There is a statue of Mary with her hands raised in the air.. (You can see it as you drive by, its in the front yard.) The urban legend goes that there were 2 young boys playing by the statue. They were supposed to come home when the streetlights come on but never did. The parents started looking for them and found a bloody message on the base of this statue that said "Don’t let your kids play after dark". With the fingers of the statue cut off and blood coming out. If you go there today you’ll see the fingers cut off and the eyes gouged out.

Bloomfield Hills - Fox and Hounds Restaurant- It is one of the most expensive restaurants on the states, every night around 11:30 pm, the cooks notice that all the pots and pans fall out of the shelves. They noticed this for about 12 times then put them on the ground. The next morning they are back on the top shelves.

Bridgeport - Bridgeport High School - there is said to be in the first years the school was built the principal was accidentally killed by a teacher....Now all the teachers that have problems with the principal face in school injuries like falling and breaking bones.

Bridgeport - Cole Rd. Cemetery - There had been said to be seen a little girl wondering the cemetery saying, "Help me”. Seen by a young teenager.

Brighton - Brighton Women's correctional institute - before the death sentence was revoked in Michigan hundreds of inmates died in the prison. Rumors of ghost hitchhikers are known to be on the road leading to the prison. These are the souls of inmates executed while attempting escape.

Burton - Naturally You - ticking clocks that are not there. Things will turn on by them self.

Canton - Denton rd - many legends about this rd. the bridge is said to be haunted by a woman who's child was killed by a car, she walks the bridge and you can hear the baby cry. dark figures chase your car and there is said to be a house on a side rd. that is haunted

Canton - Denton Road Bridge - The story goes that a group of kids were playing chicken near Denton Road bridge, and one of them proved to be chicken. His car swerved off the road when they reached the bridge, and crashed into the river below. Many people claim to see a light come out of river and chase their vehicle to the end of the road, if they stop at the center of the bridge at night.- November 2003 Update: the road has been reconfigured in that area and that the bridge no longer exists. That is not to say that the hauntings no longer occur.

Canton - Gyde Rd. - Reports of whispers heard and cars being pushed.

Cass City - Crawford Rd. bridge - Back in the 1800's a young lady got in a horse and buggy accident. Her buggy wheel went off the bridge and flipped, she drown in 2 feet of water. On foggy summer night you can see her hand come up over the road and hear her please for help!

Chesaning - Chesaning Market Street Square (a mini mall with indoor shops) - Store merchandise has been found moved when stores are opened in the morning. Employees hair pulled, employee shoved, voices can be heard at night. A Santa decoration was seen by 3 eye witnesses as it lifted from a table and was sat down on the floor outside a store. Transparent images of a woman and man seen separately over periods of time. Numerous unexplainable events occurring since mall opened in 1985. Unknown before this date. A smallpox outbreak in 1837 devastated some of the last remaining Indians in this area before the village of Chesaning was started.

Clinton Township - 18 mile road and Hayes - In the woods right off Hayes and 18 there is a small cemetery that has about 30 stones, most of them dating back to the 1800's and its said that if you come alone to the cemetery at 12:00 at night on a Friday you will very loud whispers in the woods that corner the whole cemetery and if you brave enough to stay longer the whispers come closer until there right in front of your face

Clinton Township - Chateau Clinton Trailer Park - In the Spring, Summer, and sometimes early Fall, some of the streets will have fog only at the end of them, and there will be Shadows of teenager looking people walking down the middle of the street. Also, sometimes if you cross the middle of the streets you feel a temperature drop repeatedly.

Clinton County - St. Johns - R.B.W. (Rodney B. Wilson) - People have said to hear a noise from the hall ways like a drum beating after closing hours when only the janitors are there.

Clinton County - St. Johns/Clinton County - Cemetery on Forest Hill Road - Witnesses claim to have taken tons of pictures of orbs here.

Clinton Township - Rudgate Manufactured Home Park - During The Night Here, You Can See Ghosts Of People who were killed by the train. And when you walk around the park at night you can see black figures in the wood line at the back of the park. And You Can Also See Ghosts Of Animals. Legend is that this park was built on old cemetery that was there in the 1800's.

Dearborn - Divine Child High School - Several years ago, when a new gym addition to the school was being built, a construction worker fell from a scaffolding and died from head injuries. Many people say that the new gym in the school is haunted and see his ghost up on the catwalk at night. If you walk down the halls of DC by yourself you always feel like something is watching you, or following you, usually due to the footstep noises. It has been said that at night, in the empty halls, if you get in the school and walk around some of the rooms are lit up and the janitor equipment will be standing outside some of the rooms, but if you go in the rooms there is no one to be found, but often strange things written on the chalk boards.

Dearborn - Dunworth Pool (Seashore) - Overnight maintenance and guards have reported seeing children running through the building. The lifeguard break room is always cold and often feels like someone is watching. At night the gates rattle and shake. Children can be heard calling out "Jack" (the person the pool is named for) or the night maintenance man's name. Also footsteps can be heard throughout the night. Police often are called in to make sure it is not vandals. Never find anything but the noises continue.

Dearborn - Fire Station 2 - Reports of many of the fire personnel that work there state that at night, a lone figure shuffles across the apparatus floor knocking over fire boots and rattling the coat hangers. Some think it is the ghost of a firefighter that refuses to retire even after death. The description is of a tall figure, glasses and mumbles about the old days gone by. The watchman of the night shift always keeps one light on for fear of this poor shade.

Dearborn - Greenfield Village - haunted by many ghosts in most of the homes, the most active are in Firestone Farm, and Webster home. A man committed suicide in the barn at the farm, and Webster is just unhappy.

Dearborn - Greenfiled village - Henry ford museum - Henry ford museum has a car from the time President Kennedy was Shot. In the evening on the anniversary he has been spotted standing next to his car waving to the security officers and leaving a single red rose on the hood of the car. Often felt a cold wind and was also told he said that there was two men that As well was not the man that shot him there was another man out side the building that was standing on the lawn where there was trees and shot him.

Dearborn - The Henry Ford Estate - Doors and windows opening and shutting on their own. Several reports of the figure of a man following someone and vanishing. Reports of a man in and old fashioned uniform wandering the hallway and vanishing (a witness who spotted this later saw a picture of the Ford's butler and said that it was the same person that they spotted). The Michigan Ghost Watchers did an investigation at the estate and got pictures of orbs, mists and a figure of a man in one of Mr. Ford's cars.

Dearborn - Players Guild of Dearborn - It's a local community theatre to which I belong. Pictures have been taken of outlines of ghosts and it has been known to play tricks on members of The Guild. I have had a few encounters with the ghost. Hearing footsteps, when no one is around, and things moving around. At times, there is also a heavy breathing coming from stage Right.

Dearborn - Showcase cinema - 2 men died in a fire of the upstairs. When you go up there you can feel something is there with you. Employees also see figures standing in numerous places inside building.

Dearborn - Tournament Players Club - The cleaners have claimed at nighttime to have felt presences and witnessed the lockers opening and shutting. You always feel as if your not alone. It is believed to be the spirits of golf legends.

Dearborn Heights - Berwyn Senior Center - About 33 years ago, at a old school called Berwyn elementary(located at Berwyn and Richardson), there was a janitor that hung himself in the location of where the library stands today. Today it is called the Berwyn Senior Center. It is said by the senior citizens, and neighborhood kids, that they hear keys rattling, tapping on the glass of the library windows, moaning, and sometimes a figure or a face in the library's windows. Many say that this place is haunted.

Dearborn Heights - Crestwood Computer Lab - Computer number 25 is definitely haunted by an old senior who didn't not graduate because he failed computers. Now the computer acts up and any senior who sits at that computer passes with an 'A'. All the work is already done. This ghost is unlike any other ghost, he is a kind one!

Dearborn Heights - Crestwood High School - People have reported sightings of ghosts walking the halls at night, sounds coming from classrooms that are empty, things being moved, and voices behind students in the daytime. The origin of the hauntings are unknown.

Dearborn Heights - Highview Elementary School - Mary is said to have run into the girls bathroom on the second floor crying after the teacher screamed at her. And she tryed to climb up a vent to get out of the school.She didnt know that the vent was an old air conditioning vent and turned on automatically. She is said to have climbed up and screamed as the blades cut her body and she died in the vent. There is a dark stain beneath the vent and the door to that stall is removed.

Dearborn Heights - O.W. Best Middle School - The right wing of this school was closed off, supposedly because a young girl hanged herself in the hallway's bathroom. People claim to hear sobbing and see drops of water drip from thin air.

Dearborn Heights - Riverside Middle School - The Pool area was torn down this past summer, 2002 - There is a closed pool were a girl dove in and crack her head open and died and people reported that they saw her roaming the halls and her in the pool area. Also they heard her say student’s names. Couple people claim they saw her in the pool area wearing blonde hair that is shoulder length with blue eyes.

Detroit - Coca-cola Plant - a supervisor was shot by a disgruntled employee in the 50s. He is sometime seen yelling at workers and keeping the line running when the supervisors are gone.

Detroit - Crossing of Tireman and Evergreen- No one knows why, but almost every month a horrible accident happens at the stoplight near the 3rd block of Tireman. Every accident is horrid and leaves a disgusting scene. Just last year 2 cars collided and a mans leg landed onto a lawn, while a little baby who had been in the car seat in the back was found mangled and beheaded on one of the lawns also. It happens at an unearthly rate, and no one knows why. Children around the area never cross it, and try to stay away from it, they call it "fear street".

Detroit - Dept Of Transportation Main Office - A former employee killed himself on the 2nd floor .....so every night around 11:00 pm ....he roams the building ...operating the elevator and walking the stairs...... When he is really restless he rides the elevator with the living stopping on the 2nd floor on every up and down trip.....

Detroit - Detroit Historical Museum - In the lower level of the museum, there is a stain on the floor and it smells like sulfur that seems to disappear when it is touched. Not many know about this but it is true that some workers have seen an orb in the lower level by the stain.

Detroit - Detroit Institute of Arts - There is a figure in the African Gallery called the nail figure. I work security in the museum and several officers who work the afternoon and midnight shift have reported that when the lights are out the nail figure has (an African Sculpture who is impaled with several shards of wood referred to as "nails") has been seen performing a tribal dance. In the American Gallery there have been several reports of loud crashes in a room which houses a painting called the court of death. A loud crash has been reported to be heard by several officers patrolling through this area in the dark, sounding like a painting falling (It is a very large painting). When the lights are turned on there are no painting or any artworks out of order.

Detroit - The Detroit Masonic Temple - This huge edifice was built in 1912 especially for the Masons. The building has over 1,000 rooms, many secret passages, and secret floor compartments. The builder, a gentleman named George D. Mason, was said to have gone broke financing the building, and having lost all his money (and his wife, who left him shortly after filing bankruptcy) became despondent & jumped off the roof to his death. Night watchmen have seen his transparent form at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the roof. Also, one of the roof doors will always be open, sometimes only moments after the watchman has locked it. Many other unusual sightings have occurred there, including unnatural cold spots and shadows moving in the third floor hallway behind the Drill Hall, various footsteps, the sound of doors slamming in locked, unoccupied rooms, and feelings of being "watched" or being "unwanted". Many night watchmen have quit on the spot after having an experience with a ghost, and others refuse to even enter certain rooms.

Detroit - General Motors Plant - a man was saved from being crushed by a ghost of man that died that way in 1944.

Detroit - Henry Ford Hospital - Late at night you can hear shoes squeaking on the gym floor or hear a ball bouncing off the racket ball court. When obviously there is nobody in that area. It is off limits to personnel.

Detroit - Henry Ford Hospital - Clara Ford Pavilion - formerly a live-in nursing school is quite haunted. Security and maintenance personnel have had doors locked behind them during the early morning hours. One of the first floor boardrooms has a particularly obvious cold spot and a feeling of dread, as well as the smell of decay. In 1926 a nursing student, distraught over failing grades, took her own life by jumping from the roof onto the stone walk of the courtyard below. The doorway she used to gain access to roof will reportedly not stay closed on the anniversary of the event. A nurse there comes in every morning to the basement section and always has to close the 75lbs lead door to the x-ray room, when she is positive they close this every night before the last doctor leaves.

Detroit - Jefferson St. - before the Tunnel to Canada - A little girl was hit by a car on a rainy day where the turn for the Tunnel to Canada is. She was stuck under the car and was knocking hoping that the driver would hear her, but he didn't. It is said that when you take that turn on a rainy day you can hear four knocks on the bottom of your car. These knocks belong to the little girl.

Detroit - Majestic - magic stick - The Majestic is a theater on Woodward, It is where Harry Hudini did his final show, there is a basement below the theater that if you go down to is now a small room and a hallway that has been bricked up there has been several occasions people have seen someone coming from the basement--there is also an old mezzanine that is covered by a large drape you can hear applause and screaming coming from there. in the other part of the building there is a bowling ally(the garden bowl) and a pool hall/concert (magic stick) area above the bowling ally on several nights after all the patrons left several of us sat drinking in the garden bowl, you could hear a man yelling and running footsteps from the magic stick. thinking that someone had snuck in or stayed past closing, all of us split up and ran up the main and rear stairs not finding anyone this happened several times over the 3 years.

Detroit - Orchestra hall - Ossip Gabrilowitsch, the Detroit symphony orchestra's Second Music Director (and Son in Law of author Samuel Clemens) Walks through his old office and rehearsal spaces in Detroit's Orchestra Hall. The hall was built as a prerequisite of Gabrilowitsch before he would lead the Detroit Symphony , and many maintenance and Security personnel still find his images walking around as if he were still the Music Director.

Detroit - Our Lady Queen of Angels Parish Hall - Story goes, several decades ago the captain of the school's basketball team took his cheerleader girlfriend up to one of the rooms in the back of the upstairs. He said he wanted to give her something, so she agreed to go with him. When they got up there, he pulled out a knife and stabbed her because he said he saw her cheating on him. When you go up there now, when you `pen the doors, they shut. And when they are shut, they open. You can hear the pipes clanking and sometimes you can see the figure of an older woman walk through the halls. This upstairs used to be a school, but is now used for the hall and storage.

Detroit - St. Andrew Hall - St. Andrews is a well known concert venue. There has been several Ghosts seen walking around the basement(the Shelter) and actually chasing people up the stairs. On one occasion all the areas but the shelter was open. Doors opening and closing.

Detroit - University of Detroit - Mercy - Marion Hall - The ghosts of nuns long dead still let there presence be known by locking doors, cold chills and uneasy feelings of being watched.

Detroit - The Whitney - originally the home of David Whitney now a very swank restaurant. Reports of table settings moving, doors opening and closing, elevator being operated when there is no one there, cold spots and sightings of a male spirit (possibly David Whitney)

For more on this, go to: The Shadowlands

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 10:24 am)
 
 

OK, I guess you'll have to sue me. Curiosity got the best of me and I had to see what it said about my home city:

Saginaw - Dice Road Cemetery - A lady in white that was seen by a jogger one night around 7:00P floating through the cemetery.

Saginaw - Dice Road - One Lane Bridge - A warlock who is said to have hung three girls from the bridge after they stepped on his wife’s grave, which is in his front yard near the bridge. Late at night at the bridge you can hear male and female voices, the female voices are screams. Visions of objects moving and things such as ropes being tossed over the side rail, which is where the girls were actually hung. A white car is often said to be following people when they are driving down the road. Waves of smoke are also seen while driving away. There is also a graveyard down the street.

Saginaw - JB Meinburg's - JB Meinburg's is an old pub that is said to be haunted by an old bar maid. She occasionally is seen checking on the tables at the back of the bar. She has whispered in people's ears, asking if they needed a drink. She has been seen walking into the back hall. This bar is featured in our local paper just about every Halloween. I have only been to the bar once.

(I live about 9 blocks away from JB Meinburgs. Maybe I should go tell the ole bar maid, "Hello?")

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 10:28 am)
 
 

theres no way in hell i'm reading that for multiple reasons, 1 i know it's going to be boring as hell, 2 it starts off as an obvious cut and paste job... 3 as mentioned before were not morons here we can all surf the web and find stuff like this ourselves, it's nice to be original or put an original twist on things here. now if you wrote the whole damn encyclopedia entry yourself, great job, go work for britanica, stick to the small fart jokes.

but as for living in a haunted state, it's because of all the gases you people just think it's haunted...

- hans (november 9, 2005 at 4:54 pm)
 
 

Well, in all reality, I can't really claim I have ever experienced being haunted by anything myself. And if I have, I simply can't remember. However, with a list as long as this, as you mentioned, it's truely hard to believe there isn't something to it all, isn't there? Why on earth would people make this kind of stuff up? That is just one more thing that does not make sense to me, when I think about it. This is just in Michigan, I'm sure any of you could find the same kind of thing, whereever it is that you happen to be living currently.

It's not boring to me, it's something I find rather interesting, and while you may think fart jokes are the only thing that IS interesting, I think that's just one more thing that we are going to have to agree to disagree on here hans. No need to split hairs on it. It wasn't even entirely a cut and paste job, cause as I said, I had to go through the cities I have actually been to in order to copy each of them seperately, and of course, I read them too, because I found it "interesting" not "boring as hell."

The rules are, "no religion" and "no politics." Plain and simple. The rule isn't "Stick to the small fart jokes." This site would be limited indeed if that were the case. And no, I'm not stupid and I know you aren't stupid either. It's apparently something that interests me that apparently does not interest you. No biggy! One thing is for certain though, just because it doesn't interest "you" doesn't mean it doesn't interest "anyone" else who decides to come here. And for all those who it doesn't interest, who fucking cares? Me? Nope.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 5:09 pm)
 
 

I actually lived in a house that was haunted.....Weird things started happening always at the same time in the morning....1:10 a.m. to be exact and would go on in duration from anywhere to 30 to 60 minutes. If you didn't believe in those things (which I do) you would be a believer after going through this. I pinpointed the location from where the sounds and noises where coming from....and after three weeks of no sleep I decided to take matters into my own hands. I certainly couldn't afford to move, I had just sunk all my savings into that place, so instead I took two popsicle sticks and taped them into the shape of a cross....blessed the cross and hung it on the wall where I had heard the sounds. From that point on, the noises quite and the wall plaques stayed in place. I eventually did move, but left the cross on the wall. Also saw shadowy figures moving and disappearing into the same wall, the noises werent the only thing. It really was quite disturbing and like I said didn't get much sleep those first three weeks. I always wondered what Sylvia Brown would have had to say about it....

- lizas twin (november 9, 2005 at 5:43 pm)
 
 

I think Bert needs to add another rule. This is what he's got so far:

1. No Politics.

2. No Religion.

This is the rule he needs to add.

3. No one adds more rules, accept for me, the owner of Bertrandom. Bert.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 6:22 pm)
 
 

Well, she's written a few books, you may want to take a look at them. The one I read was called, "To the other side and Back," or something like that. There are really two versions of what ghosts are and why they exist. The first one is that it is a soul that was not ready to pass on to the next world. Who hasn't heard that one before, raise your hand? The second one is less familiar, and also makes more sense to me. That is, when someone dies a horrible death, or was not ready to leave, etc., what happens is that the pain caused by the experience of the soul being torn from this world leaves an impression, like a foot or handprint if you will, of its soul before it moves on. And thus, that's why the hauntings are always the same exact thing, over and over and over again. Can you imagine what it would be like to be a ghost, that just sits in a Bar for all eternity walking up behind people and asking them if they would like another drink? That would be pretty damn boring to me, hows about you? Yep, to me, the ghost as more of a soulprint, seems to make more sense, but again, that's just me.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 6:28 pm)
 
 

this shit should be like calvinball.

23rd base is a safe zone.

- einhander (november 9, 2005 at 7:09 pm)
 
 

I'm game Einhander. Unfortunately, I don't own the website, Bert does.

If Bert wants to allow it, let's go. You, me and anyone else who wishes to participate. What do you think of Calvinball rules, Bert?

I could be wrong but I think Calvinball is what we were playing before.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 8:12 pm)
 
 

well, that makes a lot of sense to me also....That would explain why it was the same thing every single night, or should I say early morning. Same time also. I have heard many different theories as to the causes. In the case of my house, I invetigated and there were no reports of any one dying in there, but I was owned by just one family, and things can be kept pretty quiet if the people want to keep things hush hush! To go through the hereafter, if you will, or all of eternity trapped in one place, doing the same thing, it's sad.

- lizas twin (november 9, 2005 at 9:30 pm)
 
 

My aunt (Who had a dog pass away a few years ago) says that ocassionally, she'll see it's shadow here and there in the house. Go figure.

- mr. pc man (november 9, 2005 at 10:21 pm)
 
 

if you've got something on the web that you'd like to share... there's a lovely little "link" option right above the reply box...

you can do stuff like this...

The Greatest State south of New York but North of Delaware.

And then, if someone chooses to read such a long passage or see a silly picture, they can. Or if they don't they don't get the forums clogged with long posts that are cut & pastes or images, to which some have indicated dislike.

I'm not saying this needs to be a rule, however, it WOULD contribute to good-guyhood if this happened.

- wallabysnot (november 10, 2005 at 7:26 am)
 
 

god that looks friggin' retarded.

- wallabysnot (november 10, 2005 at 7:31 am)
 
 

True. Which is why I didn't just copy and paste the whole thing. I feel like I'm entering the land of "redundancy," almost every time I come on here lately. Not to mention, that I did create a link to what I posted before that I feel initiated your response, as retarded as it friggin' looks. No pun intended.

- mr. pc man (november 10, 2005 at 8:36 am)
 
 

ever consider that you 'enter the land of redundancy' cause you do the same stupid shit over and over?

-insert clever bertrandom.com im a smarty pants quip here-

- nogginj (november 10, 2005 at 9:32 am)
 
 

Well, you really should try using your "noggin" a little bit more "nogginj." I've posted things regarding a large variety of issues, humorous and such, on all sides, of all issues, I've posted. You should know by now, that not only was that a stupid response, but was also not what my definition of "being a good guy" is either. I hope for your sake that the response you added was not an indication of your actual level of intelligence.

"-insert clever bertrandom.com im a "stupid" pants quip here-" is how you should have ended your rather "illequiped" response. I told you I wasn't going to put up with anyones bullshit on here, and I meant what I said.

- mr. pc man (november 10, 2005 at 3:13 pm)
 
 

- lizas twin (november 10, 2005 at 9:21 pm)
 
 

Land Of Confusion

I must've dreamed a thousand dreams
Been haunted by a million screams
But I can hear the marching feet
They're moving, into the street.

Now did you read the news today
They say the danger's gone away
But I can see the fire's still alight
Burning into the night.

There's too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And there's not much love to go 'round
Can't you see
This is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

Ooh Superman where are you now
When everything's gone wrong somehow
The men of steel, these men of power
Are losing, control by the hour.

This is the time
This is the place
So we look for the future
But there's not much love to go 'round
Tell me why, this is a land of confusion.

This is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth living in.

I remember long ago -
Ooh when the sun was shining
Yes and the stars were bright
All through the night
In the wake of this madness
As I held you tight
So long ago -

I won't be coming home tonight
My generation, will put it right
We're not just making promises
That we know, we'll never keep.

There's too many men
Too many people
Making too many problems
And there's not much love to go 'round
Can't you see
This is a land of confusion.

Now this is the world we live in
And these are the hands we're given
Use them and let's start trying
To make it a place worth fighting for.

This is the world we live in
And these are the names we're given
Stand up and let's start showing
Just where our lives are going to.

- mr. pc man (november 10, 2005 at 11:51 pm)
 
 

Great song there by Phil Collins....love the words, and they are just as true today as when that song was written, twenty some years ago!

- lizas twin (november 11, 2005 at 5:53 am)
 
 

Wow, I see that a lot has changed since I last checked out Bertrandom. I must admit, I do long for the mind numbing Flor-caught-eating-rat-terd yarns of days gone by. May I suggest that we ensure that everything is smoothed over with a good ole fashioned game of word association? J/k.

- tinkerpez (november 11, 2005 at 4:19 pm)
 
 

Check this out: Word Association

chain (51 words): sellout, burn, hot, cold, war, peace, hippy, drunk, dizzy, confused, no, yes, affirm, action, packed, full, stomach, ouch, pin, needle, syringe, knife, wife, husband, wedding, married, couple, triple, bypass, surgery, doctor, nurse, practitioner, lawyer, asshole, funk, fake, queer, guy, man, woman, dyke, whore, score, high, low, cut, paste, brush, tooth, pain.

- mr. pc man (november 11, 2005 at 7:20 pm)
 
 

- lizas twin (november 12, 2005 at 12:04 am)
 
 

- einhander (november 12, 2005 at 8:29 am)
 
 

Looks like a person with their head in the sand. LOL.

- mr. pc man (november 12, 2005 at 11:05 am)
 
 

We all have our own oxymorons here, indeed...

Tinkerpez would like to hear more on this subject:

Flor-caught-eating-rat-terd yarns

And Flor feels this way about it:

"also, i was thinking about how it's colder than a witch's tit, and fondly thought of you."

And so, let the Calvinball games, begin...

- mr. pc man (november 17, 2005 at 12:54 am)
 
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