I wrote this a month or two ago:

Last weekend, I went to a computer show in Pomona. I've always held a special place in my heart for computer shows because I used to go to them when I was a kid. To me, being a kid in a computer show was more like being a kid in a candy store than actually being in a candy store. Back in the late 80's and early 90's, if you wanted the latest piece of hardware for your computer, you were limited to going to these random warehouses out in the middle of nowhere or Fry's Electronics. You'd gauge prices by reading this huge, thick magazine called Computer Shopper and comparing the various ads and then drove to the warehouses that were actually near you. But a computer show, a computer show was like taking the best stock of all those warehouses and putting them in one big warehouse.

Computer shows are usually held in large convention halls or really big tents. Inside, there are a lot of card tables with every imaginable computer accessory laid out in no particular order. Some tables have milk crates full of computer software, others just cd cases for you to flip through. Half the software will say "For Distribution with a New PC Only" or "Educational Discount" but nobody really cares. It's like the nerd black market. The hardware is similar, instead of colorful, retail packaging, everything is in non-descript white boxes with the contents scribbled on by a thick sharpie.

There are some tables that will be at every computer show you go to. The first is this guy selling a bunch of old laptops with mismatched power cords. These are not necessarily stolen but they don't exactly have that air of legitimacy to them. Next is the couple selling their inkjet refill packs. If you ask them about it, they'll tell you how buying their syringe and ink system is ridiculously cheaper than purchasing retail inkjet refills. You'll nod and eventually become convinced, purchase a pack, go home, spill ink all over your carpet and then print out test pages on your printer with streaks of cyan, magenta, yellow, and a really, really light black, get frustrated and go and buy a retail inkjet refill. Last but not least is the guy selling cheap dial-up internet access, as if people that go to computer shows all have AOL or even dial-up and not broadband for that matter.

Although, I must say, the demographics at computer shows have really changed since I was a kid. Back then, at best you might see someone that may or may not be a girl. The one I went to recently, there was certainly not a majority of girls but there was definitely a showing. I don't think there were any just waltzing around by themselves though.

Speaking of girls, I saw probably the best idea in action at this one. There was a Hot Dog on a Stick stand. Imagine a bunch of socially awkward nerds all standing around a Hot Dog on a Stick stand watching the Hot Dog on a Stick girls in their ridiculously awesome outfits pumping lemons. Most of them seemed incapable of even ordering, but they had the gawking down right.

I must have walked around for about three hours, but it just wasn't the same. When you can order everything you need on-line you're just left with a bunch of random impulse buys, much like the checkout maze at Fry's. Wow, a keychain that's also a digital camera? No way! How do they do it? I totally need that.

oh man you are such a foreign country ,weird stuff.wheres my lonely planet.

mmmm.... fried cheese sticks....

and cherry lemonade that isn't too bad either....

I wonder what HDonaS training is like...

Ok, so you take the stick here, and you put it in the oil here...BE QUIET, THIS IS DAMN IMPORTANT! And when it's brown you take it out like here, and... let's break for lunch and in the afternoon we'll go over filling the trash can with lemons.

Reminds me of the time I got into an arguement with an employee at Hot Dog on a Stick about getting a cup of water.

"Can I get a cup of water?"
"No. We aren't allowed to give out cups of water."
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm pretty sure that is illegal."
"The manager said we can only sell lemonade."
"I'm diabetic. If I drink that stuff I will die. Tell your manager that would be bad for business. And give me one of the lemonade cups with water in it."
"If I do that I have to charge you for lemonade."

After that I went on a rant about how their lemonade distributor shanghaied them into an exclusive contract that will make them legally liable for any people who go into diabetic comas, choke, or suffer indigestion. I think I went a little over her head.

I went to a quilting convention once...you might be thinking that's not relevant. Walking around the booths, if you substitute socially awkward teenage boys with frumpy middle aged women, and hot dog on a stick girls with anybody-else's-husband-but-my-own...there ya go.

How does one end up at a quilting convention? The only way I could see it is if I got into a friend's car and they said we were going to a strip club and I went inside a building and it turned out to be a quilting convention.

quilting /sugarcraft ,you dont know what your are missing .
plenty of dirty sex too.

Kind of like someone shanghaing someone else to see a certain Phantom Menace movie?!

I'm still a little sore about that.

i have no idea what you are talking about. seriously. did someone make you see phantom menace and you had a bad experience?

and tell me more about these conventions penelope.

well the're not conventional and welsh legs are pretty hairy although short .
sugarcrafters are average 50 yrs and of the once a week generation (thats baths,sex every five minutes unless its lambing time)

Get to your ships! I was more disappointed by Episode III than Episode I.

i'm going to get to my ship and figure out who these chicks screwing every 5 minutes that penelope's talking about are really about...