So I was looking on craigslist and I found this job. Naturally, I applied, citing 10+ years experience.

My submission: (scene can be found here [NSFW!])

Mr. Thomas comes home to find his favorite jailbait babysitter asleep on the couch with her cotton panties and ass barely covered by her short skirt. He can’t help but rub his cock on her perfect behind. Like all teenage girls that find men jerking off over them while they’re sleeping, she is immediately drawn to his cock, jacking it off and then trying to fit it as far in her mouth as possible. Mr. Thomas is more than happy to assist her and then fucks her tight pussy. For variety, he proceeds to alternate penetrating her ass and mouth but finally decides on the latter, where she accepts his load cheerfully.

I like how he puts his leg over her head when he's getting head... how abusive can you really be to your babysitter?

i hope penelope watches it and gives her input on this matter

no artificial fibres.

deep thoughts with penelope...

I'm looking at changing jobs right now. We can't seem to even beg people to apply to work where I work, and I'm just really bored of the people there. I put in 2 applications to go to some game development companies as their web applications developer. One declined me after making a huge fuss about how badly they wanted to see some code samples and a writing sample. I took the "writing sample" part too literal and sent them an essay I wrote for a history class about 2 years ago. I guess they didn't see the humor in it. Apparently a writing sample means a copy of some documentation I wrote.

Just sent in the application to the 2nd company today, we'll see how it turns out this week. Worst case scenario I might just ask for a raise at my current job.

OK .I cant understand why you do this.It must be killing you to go that place and live the life. I think you should go to Austin too. Oh and get a garden.

at midnight,pull down your white teeshirt and slip into riceboots and a headtorch.
Work your way across the flower beds and you could collect up to three whole buckets of slugs .Some may be as long as four inches.
give them to chickens.

now wash your hands

Chickens eat slugs? That sounds gruesome.

I went to youtube to look, mostly because I'm drunk, but I went and I typed in "Chickens eating slugs" you know what I found?

Chickens eating bisquit cookies
Chickens eating watermelon rinds
Chickens eating corn on the cob
Chickens eating
Chickens eating a dead chicken
Chickens eating thanksgiving leftovers
Chickens eating boiled oatmeal
Chickens eating squash
Chickens eating marshmallows
Chickens eating little treats


and oh my god I can't stop laughing now but it's 1am EST so I'm going to go brush my teeth and pass out laughing. Damn I can type good when drunk, or so I think so far!!! Lots of backspace was used to do this.

i don't even remember watching these videos last night..... wow... maybe i'll google it again later.

slugslime is overlooked in world manufacturing because its the strongest stikiest muck never to come off .It must be useful for something else.